I’ve always tried to be careful about writing something
personal-that is, I don’t write anything when I’ve had a couple of beers. For
me, a couple of beers means I’m pretty well pissed.
Today, after a 70-hour week of caring for people who may not
see next week, I stopped at a nice little bar for a beer. I’d spent several
hours at a great rock show-gems and minerals stuff-and I felt wonderful. A
little tired, but “a good tired” as my Mom used to say. I debated the idea of
getting a beer in a cool pub as opposed to stopping at Ingles for a 6-pack and decided why not? I’m a big girl; I’ll sit at the bar and feel all grown up.
I don’t know what it is, but drinking a beer in a bar is different
than drinking at home or with your friends.
It’s something I’m still getting used to doing on my own. I eat out alone
(occasionally because it’s still a price thing, something to consider when
every penny matters) I go to poetry readings alone (not as often as I’d like), I do pretty much everything alone. I like doing things alone. When I stopped in at this pub, I chose it because I knew on Sundays there was a Celtic jam session starting around five. I knew there would be impromptu entertainment.
About halfway through my first beer, a very nice, attractive
man stepped up next to me to order his Scotch. We talked, and continued to talk
through my next beer and order of house chips. We laughed about my feeling
lightheaded after one beer. He told me about his folks being in town for
Father’s Day and the rock show-where I had been all afternoon.
In other words, we had a nice conversation, a nice time. I gave
him my number when I left and he called on my way home and again cautioned me to be careful. We promised to get in touch over the week.
My question now is; what is it with meeting men in bars? I don’t delude myself into thinking I’m some young hot thing, but I know I can make good conversation (Maybe because I DON’T care if they ever call) and I’m not so hideous that I repulse anyone…but what are you supposed to do once the buzz has worn off? I’m hoping this very nice man will understand that he had a fun conversation with a nice woman who has some wise cracking experiences
behind her, has a pragmatic outlook on life and who doesn’t really expect him to ever call her.
Then again, I almost wish he would be the one who would be intrigued enough by the conversation to overlook the fact that she isn’t 22 anymore…and give her a call anyway.
I hope, also, that he will call you, more than anything, so that you can have a nice conversation again (at least). Good conversations are worthy of your time, and can add to your experiences, possibly even giving you something else wonderful to write about.
I like hearing about these things, because it is encouraging to hear of men who don’t think about the fact that she isn’t 22 anymore. I’m no spring chicken and not getting any younger, either. It’s also nice to hear about men who put more stock in your conversation as opposed to men who don’t hear your conversation, because they are distracted by your…or that hot skinny cosmetic-surgery-enhanced blonde across the bar…beauty.
As stated, I am getting older. I’m still ok-looking. At least I think so. That’s what matters to me. I’ve been what some could consider pretty good-looking. I can get by with being probably a little better than ok if I try. But regardless, even if I am the best looking thing in the bar (or wherever I am), it is still exasperating to try to have a conversation with a man who is distracted…even if it is your looks he is distracted by and not that blonde across the bar. Sure, it may be flattering for the first 5 minutes, but it gets old after awhile. I really like to think of myself as more than just a hole between 2 sticks. Even if I have made some sort of an effort to ‘look good’.
The thing I’m learning (over and over) is that most men-if they;re in bar-aren’t really looking for interesting conversation. Sorry. I really did stop in for a cold beer and the chance to hear interesting music. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, so the idea that a man will rememebr me for my conversation is kind of silly on my part. I’m just being realistic here. Since I never was the prettiest girl in the room I can’t grieve too much about losing that status (though looking back, I was prettier than I remembered!)
Still, it would be nice to have someone to share a beer with occasionally, maybe more. And I say that with no wistfull longing in my voice, so don’t anyone worry that I’m mooning about the house, waiting for my Prince to come. I’m still happy alone. Very happy.
About looking back – and while looking at pictures, you think…wow…I was really hot back then. REALLY! And then you wonder if all of the guys were just blind. One of the things I think is…wow…I was really skinny back then. I looked at a picture of myself from back in the day and could not believe how skinny I was. Some fat is healthy on a woman, though. And I like my curves the way they are now.
My discussion of looks/hair color was not meant to imply that I would EVER change ANYTHING about myself to please any man. I would not change my hair from brown to blonde simply because most men prefer blondes. That’s not to say anything bad about blondes. I just like my hair brown, and that is the color it is naturally, and I like it that way. If I decided to change my hair color to something wild like red, or that red and black color, or whatever, it would be because I wanted to try something fun and be adventurous, not because I thought some guy would be impressed with it. I did have a guy who wanted me constantly to change my hair color to blonde. I wanted to punch him out. Don’t get me started on the guys who have ‘encouraged’ me to ‘lose weight’. I will be the weight I am, because it is healthy. Also, in regards to weight, I am athletic. I have participated in lots of sports. Sometimes, depending on the sport, it bulks you up. I am proud of my bulk. 🙂 I wouldn’t want it to get out of control or unhealthy, but I like the way I look.