I wrecked my Saturn in the snow/ice storm a couple of months ago.  I found a truck and thought-even though it’s old and I knew there would be repairs upcoming-I would be OK. It has cost me every week that I have had it. It is sitting, right now, down the street because it quit running while my gracious landlord and his friend were replacing the master cylinder. In the meantime I found an old Mazda minivan that I could  buy with my tax refund. I wanted a car as my personal vehicle and keep the truck just for shows and hauling art related stuff. A work truck that I could take advantage of next tax sesason.

NOW I realize the back tires need replacing right this minuite. I knew they were worn but I hoped they would last a couple of months while I recovered from the wipe-out the truck put my purse through. Nope. I looked closely today and I hope like hell they get me to the garage on Monday morning.

SIGH. I know everyone goes thorugh these things, I KNOW, I KNOW…it’s just that after 10 years with no let up  I hoped to start getting a break. My work is well received but I fear now that I won’t have the $ for  upcoming shows and the art supplies I already need. I feel like a dog chasing its tail.

OK, I won’t whine any more. My life is what it is, period. I hope that those of you with similar stretches of disasters can appreciate the exasperation and forgive me. I’m done, no more ranting.

Thank you to those who have read my work and were kind enough to comment. I need to do more editing so I can post instead of bitch.

Have a fabulous weekend and soak up the sun. We need vitamin D.

3 responses to “Cars

  1. Malcolm Miller

    Some say, “life’s a bitch and then you die.” But I know you are made of sterner stuff – that’s evident from your writing. I have a friend who has managed to keep going despite several years of endless medical treatment following kidney cancer. Maybe I have helped by talking to her every day, and it’s certain that she is not going to be destroyed by ‘the slings and arrows’ of unending disasters that have been coming her way for so long. She hasn’t been able to pay for everything she needs. But she persists and will prevail! Life is persistent and strong.

  2. katiewritesagain

    Thank you for being supportive. It is fruitless to compare lives. There is always someone who has it better-and worse. Our lives are our lives and it doesn’t make them easier to bear by comparing. That said, I take nothing from your friend’s valient fight. My position is simply that I don’t know that all this fighting and struggling is worth it. I’m not being dramatic, simply stating how I see things now. In the end, we DIE. SO… Oh, and please, send me nothing about the hereafter. That is for those who believe and I never have. I think my life is the same as the cardinal or the boxwood…here and then gone on, back into the earth. When I’m gone I’m gone. Period. And I am OK with that. Just….if it’s going to be one fight after another, and my Zen and Buddhist studies tell me “Life is suffering,” when I get full of the suffering, maybe it’s just time to go. sigh. Not to worry. I can’t do anything yet, I have some committments to fulfill!

  3. Katie…

    Been there…and things do straighten out. It’s sometimes a decade…or even two decades…but the wisdom and knowledge you get on this road trip is the point…not the destination, nor how long we live. I know 50 year olds who have lived too long. Desperate lives that give nothing.

    You give plenty…and you deserve to continue to live.

    They say that stuff comes in threes…since the beginning of the year my stuff has come in 6’s.

    the tires will hold….and your art is being embraced….that last is exactly the reason to live. To create more art from the heart.

    And that is the kick: for artists, of all elk, the creating is what gives us breath.

    Patience is extra work.


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