Here’s a short post to say Happy Holidays to everyone. Most of us are dealing with some kind of family thing at this time of year, and I hope yours works out well. I talk to my niece and my brother, but we won’t actually be under the same roof for any of the holiday dates. That’s OK with me. I like spending my Thanksgiving in peace and quiet in my own house, drawing, listening to crime shows with the kitties asleep in my lap.
For those of you who love a houseful of people, have a great time. I can hear the chatter of people yelling “remember when…!” across rooms while women dance around each other in the kitchen-whether it’s to bake a pie from scratch or heat up take-out. It doesn’t really matter. You’re making food-and showing them you love them.
Kids are getting underfoot until somebody dreams up something they can all do in the same room-or outside. (I vote for outside, no matter how cold. It’s good for them.)
For those whose holiday comes up short on satisfaction (again), know you aren’t alone. Maybe next year we should spend a little less time on expectation and a little more on simple acceptance. My way of doing that has been to slowly back away from invitations. Since I’m not married any more, I don’t feel obligated to be with people I don’t like (most of them didn’t like me either, so it’s probably a relief for them, too.)
Make an effort to get around to see your friends as well as family. Those guys, your friends, will hold your hand when it needs holding, listen to you tell something you wouldn’t tell anyone else, and still love you. Those friends will pick you up when your car breaks down, and they’ll call you when their car breaks down and you’ll both laugh about it for years. Those guys help you find jobs, give you references, tell you how good you look (still!), how smart you are, how glad they are you called. And friends give from the heart. One of my friends saw a sweater with sparkles and beads and said “It was just…you.” It isn’t something a woman my age should wear, but when I look at it, I realize one person doesn’t think of me as a middle-aged woman. She thinks of me as sparkly, beaded, and flashy. And I am so flattered I am still speechless. I love that sweater!
If you’re lucky enough to have a family member who is all these things to you, you are lucky, I have my brother (and his beautiful, wonderful, patient saint of a wife) and my niece and I would give them the stars in the sky if I could reach that far. Because they are my family, they know exactly why I do stupid shit sometimes and they don’t judge me. They shake their heads and say “Kathy…you KNOW…” We laugh and they help me figure out a better way.
So, to all my friends-new and old, family and not, I love you all and wish the very best for you. I’m posting a bit of my Christmas art as a blog card for the Holidays!
These times are rough. Family? It’s scattered and fried most times, because distance and lack o’ money and frankly, fear of the bad stuff…makes one not want to be around people.
I think most of us are in the same boat. And perhaps when we are artists, writers, etc….it’s hard to justify our work and the attendant life that goes with it. Not many people give us the room to grow…they want you to ‘be like them’.
Well, we ain’t! We ARE different, and perhaps that difference makes us queer to others, but it is the life flow of creativity internal.
I have come to a place where I know that being with ‘family’….is a very stressful place. There are too many ghosts, haunts, that float around the room and need addressing…or their complaints.
I just don’t have it in me anymore to do that family thing. I have a husband and a son now in the Navy, and this Xmas is going to be very different for us. Solitude, quiet, an appeal to those things that mean something to both of us: Nature, the mystery of the season, reading books, being slowed by the nature of the Earth right now. And those kitties that find a lap wherever they roam.
Merry Xmas, Katie!